My husband and I just celebrated our 30 year wedding anniversary and I felt this was worth sharing. Here’s our story:
We met playing spin-the-bottle in junior high school at a friend’s house whose parents weren’t home. Jim and I kissed on that day and it would become a memory locked in our minds and hearts that we’ve laughed about often. I had braces; Jim smoked cigarettes. I was a cheerleader; he hung out with at-risk kids. We were an unlikely pair.
Fast forward to high school when I applied for a job at Walgreens. Since Jim had kissed me once and he thought I was kind of cute, he told the manager to hire me. Once behind the cashier’s counter, our eyes met and we giggled, remembering our awkward past kissing encounter. We became fast friends at Walgreens but because I was dating someone else, we didn’t become romantic for many years.
Circumstances and friendship kept us close and by the time I was 20, I had fallen madly in love. I had actually been engaged to someone else earlier on and to this day I thank God I didn’t get married then. My best friend was still available and we finally decided to become a couple. That was back in 1978.
We dated for a long time. Eight years! So as we are celebrating our marriage of 30 years, it’s really like almost 40! Anyway, dating was fun and while we got to know each other over the years, we continued to get an education and prepare for the future that would become fulfilling for both of us.
Two kids, some birds, a hamster, guinea pig and dog have rounded out our family.
After much consideration, we decided to take a cruise on the Crown Princess to Alaska to celebrate our milestone. We have been having such a great time – eating whatever we want, drinking our favorite drinks and touring some beautiful landscape.
As always, I suffer from motion sickness, but was aided by these very cool wrist bands. Between those, my Ginger Essential Oil and some sea sickness medication, I’ve done very well. If you are planning a trip, I highly recommend these bands for starters!
I titled this article “Reflections on 30 Years of Marriage” because I wanted to look back and see just how we made it this far. While it hasn’t always been perfect, it sure has been pretty great. Here are my secrets to a long and successful marriage:
Marry your best friend!
Make sure you know each other. Red flags usually appear before the wedding.
Set an intention for a long, happy and successful marriage.
Lower your expectations for perfection.
Give each other s p a c e.
Spend time together.
Spend time away from each other.
Trust.
Nurture. Talk. Stay romantic.
Have your own interests.
Be forgiving.
Control your tongue and wait for wisdom.
Make time for intimacy.
Keep your fire aflame.
Ask for hugs, love, help, affection when you need it.
Be respectful always.
Never stay angry. Work issues out.
Get professional help, if needed.
Put spouse before kids, family, friends, business.
Keep your mind, body and spirit healthy.
I was just reading this book called The Willpower Instinct. Author Kelly McGonigal says that people who practice self control will generally be happier, more successful, have better marriages, etc. Educating yourself on the differences between men and women, relationship tips and other ideas will help to keep your relationship strong. Determine to always stay together for better or worse. I always had the attitude that it was me and him against the world! The world can be tough and it helps to have a partner with whom you can navigate the rough waters of life.
Now, just so you don’t think mine is a fairy tale marriage, let me confess that we have had our share of tough times. We haven’t always agreed and we have had our frustrations; however, we have been open enough to talk about our issues and work them out. Sometimes through compromise; sometimes through screaming! I don’t recommend the screaming part. You can definitely talk things through if you keep your emotions in check and work to have a positive outcome.
Never stay together if you are being abused or mistreated. There are good reasons to separate – for the health of you and your children – and especially to halt abuse. But also I recognize that some people just make the mistake of marrying the wrong person. If you are incompatable and there’s no joy in the marriage, there’s no point in staying together. I would however, get some counseling before making the decision to divorce.
Marriage is a partnership and commitment between two individuals. Don’t expect your spouse to make you happy. Find your own happiness! Strong, happy individuals make a great anchor for a healthy and successful marriage.
Remember that life is short. If you treat each day as if it could be your last, you will leave a legacy of love. This is the most important way to treat your marriage. If you have kids, they will reap the benefits of your commitment.
So that’s it! Our trip is almost over and we have been enjoying each other as always. Thanks for letting me share some personal stuff with you today. Have a wonderful weekend!
For a great recipe this weekend:
Spicy and Delicious Green Beans (used witih Ginger EO)
Get your essential oils here:
www.mydoterra.com/bringmebliss