Taking the harshness out of our hearts
What in the world does it mean to practice softening?
I can only explain this by telling you my experience in a yoga class the other day. Almost any exercise, posture or movement necessarily includes some physical or mental resistance. You could be in a simple pose and feel a tightness. As my teacher was guiding us through postures the other day, she asked us to soften where we feel resistance – in other words – where it was difficult, tight, challening, almost painful. At the same time, we were told to recognize and strengthen the parts that didn’t feel resistance. There’s a dance in yoga when you are listening, following, moving and feeling. At the same time, you are adjusting the postures to get the most out of your experience. So as I was doing something difficult, I was able to re-direct my breath and energy to find some balance in the pose making it less difficult, more enjoyable and beneficial all at the same time.
So how does this relate to a possible harshness of the heart? Have you ever lashed out at anyone? Have you had regrets over your impulsiveness to be so reactive? We feel regret because we know harsh words hurt feelings. We know that people don’t always remember what you say but they do remember how you make them feel. Do you ever get so stressed out and anxious that you want to scream? Well, those emotions can fuel a reaction to your situation at the time and unless you are really self-controlled, you can just lose it. Wouldn’t you like to be more in control?
When we practice softening in the body, we are pausing, taking a moment to reflect. We breath a little deeper and feel the tension release from the body. When we practice softening into a place of resistance, then we actually strengthen physical, mental and emotional muscles. Amazingly, as we begin to feel our own strength and resilience while at the same time softening. We then experience real balance and the heart’s capacity to love magically grows. And not just for others, but for ourselves as well.
As you’re sitting and reading this, gently breathe into the heart space (the Anahata or Heart Chakra).
For this meditation, lie down on your back with knees bent, feet on the floor. Feel the softness of your belly as it melts toward your spine on your first exhale. Then as you inhale, feel the low belly rise and expand your ribcage. Here you’ll feel a softening of the inner body as it brightens through the breath. Repeat silently to yourself, “I practice softening.” Notice I don’t recommend that you say “I am soft”. You are practicing the softening mechanism but at the same time, you’re maintaining strength. Repeat this mantra over and over again until you can remain in restful awareness of the soft parts of your body. Feel your heart open as you increase your capacity to love bigger and better.
A great companion oil for this meditation is Ylang Ylang. Now, this is not my favorite oil but some people really love it for it’s soft and flowery fragrance. I am more of a Patchouli girl, but I can definitely appreciate that every nose is different.
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